Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Long-Awaited Breath Out!

I've been holding my breath, for 5 long years I have been holding my breath in so tightly it was squeezing the life out of me.

When we started out on our adoption journey, I had no idea how steep the up-hill climb would be to have our little family united. I didn't anticipate my tumble down the hill like Jack and Jill into a depression once we brought Wee Man home.

We had no clue an anticipated 6 month referral wait would turn into 22 months nor did we think it would take 18 months of constant emails, phone calls, tears, yelling, sadness, hope lost, hope gained, and more tears to bring our son home. 

Our decision to adopt came because we wanted to have a family. It didn't matter to us how our family came to be.  We didn't realize at the time how much our lives would change, how much we change, how different things we would be.

We took a breath in and took the step forward to make our dream come true.  We just didn't know how long we would have to hold that breath.

If you followed along with our previous blog you know the ups and downs we went through.  You will know I have the strongest husband in the entire world who held me up when I thought I couldn't go on one more step. 

You will know the joy when we first met Wee Man and how we I fell flat on my face when we arrived home.  Partly because of the how tired I was after our battle to bring him home and partly because I had no idea how hard being a parent would be.

Parenting humbled me. 

You think I would have breathed out after all we have been through.   Still, I couldn't.  There was always the fear someone might take Wee Man away.  Even though the adoption order was signed and we were legally his parents, in the back of my mind I thought it might still fall apart. 

It was an irrational fear for sure but a fear nonetheless. When we found out his Citizenship was granted and the certificate was in the mail, I allowed myself to think about letting a long sigh out. Instead a letter came saying they wanted a have a "quality assurance" meeting with us.  I held that breath in even tighter.  Knowing logically it was just a formality there was still the nagging "What if find something they don't like and take him away" lingering in my heart.

Friday, my fear he might be made to go back to Ethiopia melted away. The moment we had his Canadian Citizenship in our hands, I knew he was here to stay.

I finally exhaled the the long-awaited breath I had been holding in which felt exhilarating and brought me to tears.

 Happy tears.


  1. I am so glad we have finally arrived. I didn’t realize until recently that I to feared the possibility of his citizenship not coming thru. I also felt a huge sigh of relief and exhalation when everything finally came together. It feels so good to breath with you again.

  2. So happy for you guys. Breath and relish in this moment. It is a HUGE milestone... no one has the power now.... just you THREE.
    Hugs and Love

  3. Hooray for exhaling! There is nothing like having that last piece of paper in your hands.

  4. After our short wait after referral to coming home, I've been going to email you to tell you that I have a whole new respect for you and what you went through to bring your child home. It is true that you will do ANYTHING for a child once you become a parent. You've proven that in so many ways. Be proud of yourself and breath. You deserve to exhale more than anyone I know. Congratulations!

  5. Congratulations! Its been such a long haul. We are still waiting for our citizenship as well (14 months so far after a 11 month PR card wait). I don't have the same anxiety that you did about whether or not they will send our daughter back to Ethiopia, though. I have more of a fear that the process will be so long that her Ethiopian passport will expire and I have no idea how to get a new one!
    Continue to enjoy the ride!


  6. I so get this. I usually don't even realize how badly I am breath-holding until we jump the next hurdle in the adoption process and I let out a long exhale and then start bawling. Congrats to you, Yvan and Ade. Happy border-hopping :)

  7. Exhaling is good. I remember it after E was home. But now I'm into holding my breath again waiting to see when C comes home :( How you did this Rana, I don't know as I'm living it right now and it is just hell. I think I might need a pep talk from you very soon!

  8. It was pure hell Rhonda! I'm not sure how we got through it but we did! We had excellent support from family and friends, that's how! I was angry at everyone and everything! It finally went away when we got his citizenship!