Saturday, December 8, 2012

Rage Against the Elf

Recently, I have noticed a lot of rage towards this little guy

This is the "Elf on the Shelf" which comes as a boy or girl - I would link to the site but I don't want anyone thinking I am trying to promote the sale of this product 'cause I'm not.  Feel free to google away to your hearts content if you want though. I can't stop you.  Alright damn you! Here's the link but don't blame me if you end up buying one.

I'm not gonna lie. This is our Christmas tree. I succumbed to this mischievous little dude because he seemed really cute.  Also, I am a sucker for all things Christmas. I squeal with delight over Christmas lights, "A Christmas Story", stockings, old school Christmas tunes etc. and I thought it would be something fun for us to do with Wee Man.  I had no idea he was a world wide sensation nor that he was so controversial with so many people when I ordered ours. 
If you don't know who "Elf on the Shelf" is here is its bio  -

"Excellent listeners and even better observers, these scout elves are the eyes and ears of Santa Claus. Although they cannot be touched, or else they may lose their magic, the elf will always listen and relay messages back to Santa. Taking in all the day-to-day activities around the house, no good deed goes unnoticed; these scout elves take their job seriously.

Each night, after the family goes to bed, the scout elf uses his magical Christmas powers to fly back to the North Pole. Once there, the elf will make his or her daily report to Santa and visit with elf friends where they will tell stories about their beloved families, play with the reindeer, and of course, sneak some of Mrs. Claus’ cookies!"

I've left out the bit where they mention how the elf scout reports back to Santa about whether or not you've been 'naughty or nice'. I've done this for a reason as I know this is a touchy subject in and of itself.  I know why it is touchy and I have to say I agree - somewhat.  But I will leave this for another post which will come shortly once I have formulated my thoughts on the whole Santa thing.
Right - so I first became aware of "The Elf " because someone I am friends with on Facebook mentioned the fun they had with theirs and I thought "FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHRISTMAS ELF ON THE SHELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" My husband will attest to the fact of my bellowing this from my office in just this manner because often I bellow things at him while trolling the Internets when I should be working.
Our little elven creature arrived at our house for all to see on the same day we decorated our Christmas tree.  The story was read, a name was chosen and the games began.  Our little dude named his little dude "Alphabet" I mean really, how friggin' cute is that!  CUTE!!!! All kinds of Christmas cute I tell you...and also a shout-out to his having learning on the brain. 

We both thought we will just move the elfster around every night and in the morning Wee Man can look for him - oh what fun we will have.  What you should know about us though is we start out with the best of intentions and ultimately we get lazy! Lazy with a capital L!  We moved him around, he was found, Christmas wishes were whispered and filed in our heads.  Really, this is the extent of what we have been doing.  We forget to move him, more so than I care to admit.  We lie, yes I know we sometimes lie to our kid - SHOCKER!, and tell him he just decided he liked his spot so much he chose it a second time.  Believe me, it isn't the first time we have told our young son an untruth (you're teeth will fall out of your head if you don't brush) and it likely won't be the last but we try to keep them to things we hope won't result in our paying therapy bills for our kid until he is 50! Who am I kidding, this is going to happen anyways.  Have you met us?!

Apparently some people like to take "Elf on the Shelf" to another level like Blossom Bunkhouse does with her - 101 ELF ON THE SHELF IDEAS  Oh my - 101 ideas!!! I had one idea. ONE! It was too move Alphabet from one spot to another!!  This is why I don't craft people!!! That and because someone was kind enough to make greeting cards and sell them in all kinds of stores.  Thank you Hallmark!
I'll give Ms. Blossom Bunkhouse her dues because lord knows the gal has earned it, but some of her ideas are just a bit too out there for me - alright - I'll say it - they are a bit "crazeeeeee in the head" but good for her for stepping waaaaaay out of the box on this one.
Ideas I like
10. Hang from shower nozzle with a towel on
13. Caught sneaking candy
14. Eat milk and cookies
23. Tea party with stuffed animal friends
24. Read book, newspaper, e-reader, ipad, computer, etc
67. Watch movie with popcorn & remote control

Ideas that make you go hmmmmmm....
66. Cover a room with Post-it notes on EVERY wall
95. Fill room with lots of balloons or hang them from ceiling
44. Knit a scarf or hat.
32. Switch as out closet clothes (i.e. take chunk of child’s clothes and switch with chunk of sibling or parents clothes) or switch out dresser drawer clothes
6. Crepe paper barricade on their bedroom door that they have to bust through
1. Marshmallow fight — marshmallows everywhere
2. Pillow fight — feathers everywhere
70. Take all the kitchen cabinet knobs off (my husband would lose his sh#t on this one)

Mainly the latter ideas are a lot of work and really the person who would have to clean up after our jolly, little elf's shenanigans is moi!  As Jen at "People I Want to Punch in the Throat" writes:
"He's called The Elf on the Shelf, not the Elf who Skydives, Takes Bubble Baths and Shaves the Dog! Leave him on the shelf so the rest of us slackers don't look so bad. I think I'm just going to lay my Elf on his shelf, tape wires and hoses to him and tell my kids he's in a coma and hopefully he'll recover before Christmas. That should give me some flexibility."
Really, if you haven't already Jen's post "Over Achieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies Revisited " you should, it's pretty funny!
Now Amy over at "Funny is Family" has much more disdain for this wee Christmas character. Her post "Why I Hate the Elf on the Shelf" is pretty clear.  Mostly it's because of the materialism and what she preceives as bullying by this - what does she call him - a "cheaply made stuffed elf" and fair enough as she is entitled to her opinion.  We all are and maybe she should respect that some people like to spend their hard earn $$$ anyway they like and it's just fine too.
This post from "A Little Bit Funky" on "Why We Love Our Elf on the Shelf" is on the other end of the spectrum from Amy - um, way on the other end in some regards but I'll let you be your own judge there.

Personally - this little photo shoot over at "At Luce Ends" made me laugh until I fell off my chair too but it could have been the booze talking.
I've read other blogs posts and facebook posts where people have mentioned they have woken up in the middle of the night panicked because they haven't moved their elf for the kids to find in the morning.  I can honestly say I have not lost one wink of sleep over where Mr. Alphabet will land the next morning after his visit to Santa. 

Other people have written about the chaos that has reined down upon their households since they invited the little elf in to their homes.  I don't get it because the only people or elves being homewreckers are the owner themselves who feel pressured by 'other moms' to reach star-status elfdom.  Lazy with a capital L! Our family motto!
We are still establishing our own family traditions when it comes to holidays and this is one we thought would be fun to add.  So far it has been.  Admittedly we haven't put a ton of creative thought in to it but Wee Man has fun looking for his Alphabet every morning. What more could you ask for?  Maybe for Alphabet to wrap the presents, do the Christmas baking and mail my Christmas cards???? A girl can dream.


  1. Hehe . . . I love his name, but is it OK to say that I think it should be spelled Elfabet?

  2. I.can.not. I have 'just said no' to the elf. It's too much pressure! I'm just not that mom!! Seriously, at this rate, if the tree even goes up undecorated, I will call it a success!

  3. Melissa - see this is why I don't craft - I am NOT creative that way - of course it should be spelled "Elfabet"!!

    Dianne - no worries - you don't have to - you won't find any pressure from this momma! I'm really not that kind of mom unless it is Christmas and then I kind of lose my sense of reality because I just love the time of year but even then I fall short of what other moms do and I'm quite fine with it.

  4. P.s. Dianne - you just came home with a new wee one...I'd still be hiding behind the couch - you are an amazing momma my friend!

  5. Love the image of Wee Man searching for Alphabet every morning!